#love this scene. love it even more bc steve fucks up in the next scene when talking to joe

[piraticaltwit]

d.i chandler + interviews / 3.01 ↳ i should be dead by now. all the men in my family have died on the streets. no one ever made it to twenty one..... it was my birthday last week. i'm twenty-two.

[atopvisenyashill]

i love baela and jace and want good things for them but i feel like harry and bethany have like zero chemistry. at first i thought it was the writing but in the scenes where emma and olivia turn up, the acting is still phenomenal even if the scene is bad so… what gives? i feel like the showrunners are hesitant to give the younger actors a shot which is crazy bc that was a huge part of the success of game of thrones

i don’t agree about them not having chemistry tbh, i think they have a very sweet dynamic. when she was teasing him about pouting & his grumbly answer, i loved how they have this sort of jokey thing bc like, they’re not just engaged they’re stepsiblings! they know each other well, they’ve been raised together for a time, and i’m positive rhaenyra was floating the engagement before ep. 8 so jace has seen this coming for awhile, and baela isn’t stupid, she knows her father wants his blood on the throne, etc.

i think they don’t seem super sexy just yet because like….they’re just not allowed to be. i mean think about the other young actors - emily carey is introduced to us flirting with milly, and milly’s next scene is the sexy/deranged one w daemon in the throne room. we’ve seen tom & ewan shirtless and naked more than once. even in the og, you had like, maisie in that scene with joe where gendry is working out and arya is Watching With Interest to let you know arya is growing up, she’s got a crush, she’s noticing boys. we just haven’t gotten that with baela & jace in the forefront. we get it a Bit in s1 - you can see jace looking at baela with some interest when rhaenys announces the engagements, and baela gives him her own look during the s1 finale. but there’s no follow up! no talking about weddings or heirs, no deranged/sexy flirting.

also, my opinion on “why won’t they let them be sexy” is like….ugh idk i don’t want to start accusing people of anything but i do think there’s a weird Politics Of Sex thing happening here. my point of comparison is usually spartacus or farscape, for Genre Shows known for being sexy. And the great thing about those shows, especially spartacus, was that they clearly understood that Certain Types Of Sexiness is expected but others are usually shunned & they made sure to show the Others. So in Spartacus, it’s not just the white & lighter skinned heterosexual characters like Crixus & Naevia, Spartacus & Mira, Gannicus & his parade of baddies, that get to fuck - Oenomaus, played by Peter Mensah, gets his own sexy scenes and this is important because he’s the darkest skinned person on the show (and one of the oldest) and he gets a scene that is titillating and sensual just like every other actor. John Hannah fucks CONSTANTLY lol, and there’s a clear emphasis that his wife thinks he is SEXY despite his physique being much different than the gladiators. There was so much anxiety over whether Nasir & Agron would get a sex scene as two men bc the show is marketed towards dudebros, and then we got a long ass sensual fuckfest between them as soon as s3 started. Farscape meanwhile let EVERYONE get kinky - doesn’t matter if they were human, wearing alien makeup, wearing alien prosthetics, or straight up puppets, you saw those people tied up and fucking with tendrils! And that’s not even getting into my whole essay about the way John, Aeryn, Scorpius, Sikozu, and Braca all really fuck around with Expected Gender Roles During Sex throughout their narratives.

HOTD, for all it wants to be this sexy feminist show, clearly just like. Doesn’t realize that it’s deeply weird to only show Steve & Eve after they’ve fucked when every other couple has gotten at least like 4 thrusts in. They don’t realize how odd it is to desexualize Helaena so much in this role, when young Alicent is seen struggling with sex several times. They don’t realize how fucking weird it is to not allow Baela or Rhaena the room to be sensual, to be sexy, to even experience sex as a negative the way Alicent initially does! I can’t say for sure why that is, but I will tell you as a certified pervert it annoys the FUCK out of me aksksj.

[scoonsalicious]

you’re making me cry these last updates😂😭🔥 the cry of joy mixing up with anger mixing up with WHATTTS WITH THE CLIFFHANGERRRR!!!! YOU R THE BESTTTTTTYT

so the whole Buckaroo fucking Joseph is expected (i want to deny it happened but IT HAPPENED AND I AM SO FRUSTRATED)

Shame on you Buckbutt.

But I do think one of the fucking is an actual accident ‘accident’ if you know what i mean?😂 Maybe Jessica guilt trip him, or him doing it unconsciously as in manipulated (i saw someone said abt they just remembered Bucket getting ‘excited’ from fighting) and one thing leads to another. Who knowwssss??

But GOD😭 I don’t want a dick that had been inside a BITCH😭😂 Especially that bitch… (screams)

Buckarina is so so so soso so so stooppidddd🙄 like damn, how stupid can you be? the audacity to cry ? and then asking Pocket what should he do again to ‘fix’ it when the answer fucking obvious. I understand the pressure he was in, but he should’ve known better. LIKE… MAN WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID😭 107 with a mentality of a teenager (BUT okay fine, you have problems whatevs, I forgive you but absolutely not Pocket)

The moment he decides to hide it rather than to face it was game over.

AND GOSH STEVE. I have faith in Pocket but not Steve (sorry). There’s a lot of options I could think of.

1. Just sex (You get what you deserve right? You fuck someone I hate, I fuck someone you not hate but dislike bcs he used to or still likes me)

2. Magically, Pocket comes to her senses (from the drugs) and just does mild stuff with Steve… MILD

3. Steve uses it as his advantages (I mean…. who wouldn’t when you have the opportunity)

4. Steve stops it (IS THAT POSSIBLE???? MAYBE IF HE CARES FOR HIS STUPID BESTFRIEND)

This chapter is called Uninhibited for a reason so I think… as much we have the ick for Steve, it mightttt happened?😂 And it makes a lot of sense if the next chapter is Unhinged. RIP Buckdoodle. Ya ears gunna cry.

I think Pocket needs it. Might be crass but Pocket HAVE to be fucked properly and thoroughly to get it out of her system (let Tin Man hears it)… but by Steve? (😂😭 gosh man idk what to think)

One thing for sure I do hope there’s a scene where Pocket giving the team a fucking strip show and lap dance to anyone (make it hurt and ick more — STEVE) in front of — i run out of names — Buckyball. (or she gave everyone one but not him, like you can see but not touch cause ya don deserve it)

I NEED STRIPPER POCKET FOR REALLLL!!!! (to the point even fucking cunt Jade is jealous and insecure)

oh and as always, I love you Pookie, thank you for feeding me with your majestic words. I trust everything you had plan bcs i know it’s ameowzing.

😗❤️

PS// Can we appreciate our lovely Bucky Barnes here (I can’t believe this is the stupid boy we’re mad with… but I can see that😂)

This is everything. You are everything. Pookie loves you so much. <3

[andrea-lyn]

thank you @smilebackwards for the tag in this one, bc I always love a ramble

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 474, with a lot of them being imported from the LiveJournal days (...and worse, a LOT that never made it because I don't want them under my current pseud).

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 3,447,393. I'm a wordy bitch when I want to be. I was just saying that I've somehow gotten into this habit of thinking every fic I write has to be a minimum of 8k, even though my next fic that will go live will prob be 5kish (...and then something that will prob be around 12k).

3. What fandoms do you write for? Right now, Ted Lasso, Zukka, Raven Cycle (though I'm out of ideas, but may grab one of my miscellaneous for that), Old Guard, Roswell New Mexico (I'm coming back, bitches).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? ready for my close up, mr. dameron (poe/finn) how to fall in love with a fairytale (poe/finn) what a tale my thoughts could tell (joe/nicky) Your Hand In Mine (poe/finn) hallelujah, you're still mine (joe/nicky) (very sad my highest kudos'ed steve/danny h50 one was top 7 and not top 5)

5. Do you respond to comments? Always. No matter what. It's a habit I got into and there's a bit of social anxiety I have around it, but I will always do it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably The Time Traveling Pilot (Poe/Finn), which has some lovely bookmarks like, Fuck I'm crying, im absolutley fucking sobbing and my fave, I'll never be brave enough to read this fic again, but I'm so glad I read it once. And honestly? Fair. I sobbed a lot writing it.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Basically, 90% of my stuff? My habit tends to be super happy/fluffy stuff and then 10% of my stuff is meant to be angst that will destroy you (...there's a Zukka coming up that will reinforce that pattern)

8. Do you get hate on fics? I started to get a lot of it on Roswell fics for some really unfortunate reasons, and it actually pushed me to make my RNM fics AO3 users only :/

9. Do you write smut? Rarely these days, but only because the story doesn't feel like it needs it. I'll still write smut scenes if it feels right, but I've been living in more rom-com territory lately.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written? I don't do it as often, but I've done a couple! I did a Leverage x Hustle one, a Star Trek x Dead Like Me, and two whole stories for House MD x Doctor Who. I do it less often these days, but more because the ideas aren't there.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of? So, maybe? I haven't seen it though!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I've been super lucky to have a bunch of my fics translated!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? YES, and it's my FAVE THING, okay. Cowriters, come at me, I love it. I want more of it.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? My preferences are fleeting like the wind and my faves come and go and then resolidify, but I will say, lately it's starting to seem like Pynch might be the steadiest 'ship I've had in a while.

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ...at this point, the Joe/Nicky Outlander Time Traveller's Old Guard, if only because it's a beast of a thing.

16. What are your writing strengths? I really like threading in the little bits of canon and getting as close to the voice and tone as possible. I'd say I've been most successful in some of my Ted Lasso stuff, but I like to be a mimic.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Prose. I'm not great at setting the scene and often my world-building is more characters and relationships than settings or scenarios. I've kind of let that atrophy over the years too.

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics? I used to do this a lot, if only because I speak enough French & Italian to get by, but in recent years, I've started just writing the phrase in English, italicizing, and indicating in the narrative that they're speaking another language, if only to get away from the footnotes or hovering.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Charmed, I think? Piper/Leo was def baby's first OTP.

20. Favorite fic you have written? I usually say Love Like The Sea (my Webgott), but today I'm going with Baby, I'm Howling For You, my Steve/Danny supernatural fic (and series) because it has the best worldbuilding I think I've ever done and I really enjoy the rules I set around that 'verse.

Tagging @earnmysong, @el-gilliath, @hazel-athena, and anyone else who wants to ramble!

[madlyn5ever]

I have a list of songs I think the duffers need to use in ST5, and I’ve just added another one so I thought I’d share my list and my thoughts about each one:

Just Another Day- Oingo Boingo

(this is almost the whole plot of this show, -specifically season 4 and what it set up for s5, but, yeah. The first line is literally “there’s life underground” and it talks about crimson red sky’s and people d-wording and the temperature increasing -ik it’s not as fitting bc the temperature would drop bc he likes it cold, but the reference to temperature at all works. And so much more)

This Town- The Go-Go’s

This one would be ironic (on purpose) because of it’s line “this town is our town, it is so glamorous” and when I picture the song I picture it in a night setting, but I think it could work for a day time or even afternoon-evening low sun setting, with everyone on bikes even Robin, Nancy, Steve, and Jonathan (I forgot to include him I think I forgot he existed -or would be there maybe?- for a moment)

Is This Love?- Whitesnake

(for a Robin romance scene. I am respectfully open to other ships in my comments for this but in my head it’s always only been for Robin. Vickie or Nancy I don’t care -I am ronance 4 ever but I respect Vickie-but I feel like since it’s probably going to be Vickie I’m inclined to say it’s for them.

BUT! I also see this moment having Nancy in the background looking on as she has a moment where she either realizes she loves Robin or she already knew and is just really sad bc Robin likes Vickie. I can see vickie being behind them on an asphalt road and Nancy see’s her over robins shoulder and nudges her and that’s when she goes over and they have the moment. Maybe Steve even comes up next to Nancy and sympathetically puts a hand on her should because somehow he just knows, or Nancy told him.

HOWEVER. I could also see this being a split moment with the song, where they happen to be under the one spot of light that’s shining down, and it’s either Vickie, and a true romance/flirting/shy feelings scene, or an accidental moment where you’re like wait holy shit this song is playing right now when Ronance is talking under that one spotlight. And it’s super unescorted and crazy as fuck and we all freak out. (Nancy does her signature half smile/smirk thing and let’s put a small chuckle because robins such a dork, and nothing too real happens yet but we somewhere)

Walk-in’ In Hawkins

I know this is just a score from the show, but it’s my favorite and as much as it was made for a specific vibe in a specific season for a specific reason, I’m petitioning that they bring it back just because I love it so much.

(It sounds really good on vinyl btw.)

Forever Young- Rod Stewart

I think this one would be good towards the end, like, after everything, we get this song, and it’s like one of those montage moments you’d see in the moment right before or during the credits of a movie, and they’re telling you where he characters ended up, with like the shit of them doing something freezes and the words come up on screen?

But minus that and maybe it’s just them all doing various things after everything is over (I don’t necessarilysee the duffers doing the cheesy but sweet where are they now thing, except I can see Dustin smiling with a cake in front of him for some reason, but I could see this song playing maybe either in a car as it drives away, or on a speaker considering it basically started with Jonathan’s record collection and him showing will The Clash. So Jonathan could’ve the guy putting on the music.)

Let’s Hear It For The Boy- Denice Williams

Purely for a Steve scene. Not connected to any of the women in the show this song is just for Steve and himself. It’s romantic nature doesn’t matter. To me this is a good song for a Steve moment. OR!! It starts with Steve but the moment cuts to a Will and Mike scene and it’s like, wait is this actually for Byler

Trinere-

If they go into the early 90’s something by Trinere? I haven’t decided what song yet, but I grew up on this Trinere and friends CD my mom would play in the car and I really think something by Trinere would be cool.

Rick Astly- (I’m not gonna Google how to spell that)

Are we gonna get Rick rolled? They have t done it yet and for an 80’s show that popped up right around the rick roll hype years it’s a bit of a shock and disappointment thing. (This one is so unserious I don’t need a Rick roll, but duffers.. if you wanna.)

Kate Bush- Army Dreamers (or any Kate bush song)

This one just because I need Max’s love of Kate Bush to be shown more, especially if she’s gonna be in a coma for who knows how long. Lucas playing Kate Bush on a boom box for her and then the song being important to the story would just be, chefs kiss.

Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac- Edge of Seventeen or Landslide

Listen. LISTEN. For the time jump. The kids are probably going to be on the literal edge of seventeen. That, and Nancy and Robin are going to be just past that age, and therefore also on the edge of it because they were recently seventeen on to eighteen.

And I think this could be a really cool tie in to their loss of innocence at such a young age, and their teetering on the edge of being kids. It’s an idea, I think. Let me know if this one’s a stretch bc I don’t know maybe I just crave Stevie Nicks.

now LANDSLIDE. This one could be really good for any sort of scene. A Jancy break up, a Byler awkward start into a relationship. A Mileven break up but decision to be best friends instead, Mike realizing he’s built his life around Eleven being his girl, or Will being his best friend all these years, and mikes own changing into something he’s afraid of.

The wheelers would dominate this song is all I’m saying. The wheelers being so landslide coded is all I’m saying. Anyway. The wheelers need some start-of -something-positive emotional turmoil this season.

Borderline- Maddona

Something Madonna to call back to Max and Elevens friendship, but I like this song so I’m picking this one (I love others others too but this one came to mind first)

Indigo Girls-

Again, if they go into the 90’s can we please get some indigo girls? I’ll pay. Duffers I don’t have a lot of money but I’d pay you to put some indigo girls in there for Robin PLEASE. I feel like Nancy would like them too so also for her.

Shiny Happy People- R.E.M

(Can’t for the life of me remember if they’ve used this already but I’m pretty sure they haven’t)

It would just be so ironic and so on point for the traumatized teenagers (and Erica) to have this song in the soundtrack.

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head- B.J. Thomas

Okay this one could work so well for a transition sequence (or a few) where they go into (if they all split up which seems to be something that’s obviously gonna happen),

The other group doing whatever they’re supposed to be doing. Idk this song sounds so much like a song they’d use to transition to the next scene. And it’s not intensely here or there plot wise but could work for a moment where they’re trying ti get something to work (I see a will and his group scene that switches to a hopper and his group scene, unless hop is part of wills group, y’know?)

Let me know if you have any thoughts on this or other ideas for the soundtrack! (I had others but I forgot half of them and the rest don’t fit anymore because I’ve been compiling this for months)

[mallowstep]

✍ 👀

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

Not generally, but sometimes for specific fics. I always credit them as they request.

Working with a beta slows me to a crawl, sometimes at half speed, so I prefer not to. However at times I will get a beta for specific reasons. Reasons for fics currently in progress:

It’s really fucking long and it’d never get done if I didn’t have a second set of eyes

More of a sensitivity reader situation where someone offered to read something to make sure I got the details of something right

And I also have a very social writing process. I would not be the fic author I am without the cat server. They see a lot of a fic before I put it together. Even when it’s not warriors…I just made them all look at a scene glow up bc I was proud of it.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Oh uh so I only plan one fic ahead and I just posted evidence based practice so unfortunately I can’t tell u about a warriors WIP. Non warriors WIP details under the cut bc ooohhhh I’m so excited about this one I can’t contain myself

K so the next fic im gonna post is (part one of three of) “entreat me not to leave thee” which is omegaverse o/o stucky. It’s been described as “omegaverse but you made it queer” by a friend which is my main goal.

I could talk abt it for ages and if u have questions u can direct them to my main @fencesandfrogs but the basic plot follows the first movie pretty loosely. Bucky is the POV character and he ends up captain America which means I get to use the line “You are a Jewish omega, and tomorrow you are going to be a symbol to the American people” which I really fucking love because I’m just leaning as hard as I can into the idea that the man behind captain America is not what people see in cap.

Meanwhile! Steve gets himself employed among other “queers, criminals, and omegas,” by working special ops. (He is…not a very good spy. Luckily that’s not his job most of the time.)

Part one is the Before but I’m really really excited abt it. I have a few grievances with common tropes in the subsection of the fandom and I want to do my part in taking them down. And I’m very grateful to the friends who are helping me with that.

It’s gonna be a great ride.

[lothcatthree]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

thank you for tagging me @forloveofcodywan (i've been wanting to do this one for a while)

under the cut so i don't plague your dash

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

16 (i used to have >30 but i orphaned half of them bc i wrote them when i was 14 and nobody needs to see that)

2.) What’s your ao3 word count?

162,724

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

star wars all day babey. i dabbled in steve x bucky from 2017-2018 ish, but star wars has had my brain in a vice grip since 2015 (i was another victim to the sequels causing a sw renaissance).

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

the right feeling - from my finnpoe days :') this is part 1 of a soulmate au series. this one has 4.7k words.

i think i was blind before i met you - steve x bucky (damn we're going way back, this is 7 years old) modern au with barista steve and college student disaster bucky. 15k words.

please stay for awhile now - finnpoe, again for the win. this is part 2 of the soulmate au series. 5.6k words.

we should just kiss like real people do - finnpoe. this is the fourth and final part of the soulmate au series. hurt/comfort, recovery, all the good stuff. 8.2k words. (i suppose we all needed the soulmate finnpoe fluff in 2016, judging by these stats).

but through it all, i will need you anyways - current codywan WIP!! fix-it fic with just an insane amount of disgustingly tooth-rotting fluff. no clone death, just good feelings. this has been ENTIRELY self-indulgent and i started it when i got initial codywan brain rot. 64k words and counting!

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

oh my god yes, i love comments and it puts the biggest smile on my face knowing that people took time out of their day to write something nice for my little ramblings :')

6.) What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

jesus, literally none of them. i have to do happy endings, i'm too fragile. closest would be i hate you, fuck you, please never stop looking at me which is wolfwren PWP, except they still kinda hate each other at the end. (this barely counts because i am writing a follow-up that explores more of their feelings for each other and has a happy ending)

7.) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ALL OF THEM. idk what to tell you. probably the cheesiest ending is the dinluke modern soulmate au i just wrote - how did i ever live without you?

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

no, thank god. i keep things pretty vanilla and i tag very thoroughly to do my best to avoid any hurt feelings. (also i've just simply been lucky to never experience that)

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

oh fuck yeah. 2/3 of my fics are explicit. mostly m/m, one f/f and two m/m/m. we have fun over here.

10.) Do you write cross overs? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no, this would break my brain. next question.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, unless it has been and they're very good about hiding it (doubt it, tho. i'd be a weird choice to steal from)

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but i would love it!

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, but i have been thinking more and more that i would love to do this!!

14.) What’s your all time favourite ship?

this is so hard. . i think codywan has been the one ship that has just slapped my across the face and gave me stockholm syndrome. I think about them.... All the Time. second closest would be finnpoe, judging on how many stories i wrote about them. and they just fit so well together and i adore their characters and they had so much chemistry and. (i'll stop now)

15.) What’s a WIP you’d like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

my brain will simply not allow me to leave a WIP uncompleted. by god, it's going to happen even if i am chaining myself to my laptop and typing through tears.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

i have received many compliments about my dialogue and smut scenes flowing very naturally :) i try to make them play like a movie and have it immersive enough that a character doesn't do/say something unnatural to make the reader stop and say wait what?

16.) What are your writing weaknesses?

oh god, PLOT and ANGST. can't do it for the life of me. i work best in oneshots so i can brain vomit and move on. i have a hard time planning out fics and i deeply envy writers that can create beautiful long fics in a timely fashion. i deeply lack the patience for something like that.

as for angst, yes i can technically do it, but it pains every cell in my body. just let the sad old gay men be happy.

17.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

closest i have ever gotten is mando'a, but it's been very fun to learn!

18.) First fandom you wrote for?

oh boy. one direction (the aforementioned orphaned works).

19.) Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

i am cursed with "i immediately hate everything i write as soon as i release it" syndrome. recently, though, i was particularly proud of safe. warm. mine. because it was very outside of my comfort zone due to the involvement of three people and it was the first a/b/o i have written!

no pressure tags for @veelawings @apricusapollo @shy-wookiee. these are all the mutuals that write (that i know of) and haven't already been tagged (i think)! but please, anyone who i missed or who sees this and wants to chime in and tag me, please do!!!

[evansbby]

Am I the only one who thinks that Steve's reaction to Bucky locking omega outside was too relaxed and not that angry?? Like he was pissed yeah but ngl I was expecting him to be more mad and actually do something. Like, if someone locked my gf outside in the fucking rain while she was pregnant, u best believe that I'll murder someone. Steve's so much talk about being an alpha but honestly he doesn't really do anything to protect omega. And it makes me so mad bcs Omega is so used to being abandoned and so used to Steve not taking her seriously and justifying/excusing all the bullying he and his friends did. For once I just want someone to rage over all the mistreatment she's been through and just support and defend her. When I put it all like this, Steve sounds really awful 💀but the slow growth he's shown in the drabbles and even in poyt pt 4, really proves that he truly loves Omega even if he doesn't know how to express it in a healthy way. To end my rant, I just wanna say that ur such a good writer - the way u write relationships and the growth of characters combined with themes of anxiety and insecurity makes me wanna just frame poyt. Like, the scene where Steve mocks Omega by telling her of his cheating and then the bath tub scene???? Perfection. It literally made my heart drop in my stomach and I got this weird feeling in my stomach - yk the one where ur so in pain that u can actually feel it?

Also bestie who broke ur heart? The way you write is so beautiful and so devastating - its like you've been through seven divorces 😭 you write like you've lived and have let ur heart be broken.

<3.

TRUST ME I KNOW THIS. But consider: this wasn’t the climax of the whole fic, that I have other things in store, that I couldn’t have him completely lose it on Bucky in that scene. You guys need to trust me on the writing process. I deliberately wrote it the way I did. I KNOW his reaction was more subdued but just trust me! Also, had Steve gone full rage mode and completely beat Bucky up that night… would we have gotten the bathroom scene or would omega have been too worried about Steve? It would’ve shifted the focus from her to them two and she wouldn’t have had her moment. Writers need to shape their plot to fit the next scene, which is one of the harder parts of writing too.

Also, Steve didn’t know omega was pregnant at the time. Also, Steve was more concerned about his omega freezing to death so he had to prioritise her over doing anything to Bucky in that moment. Please understand that I consider what I’m writing and I realise what I need to give to you guys at what moment, and what I need to hold back on bc it’s better for the story as a whole! Please understand that anything given to you is intentional, just like anything held back is intentional too!

Apart from that, LMFAOOOO I’ve actually never had my heart broken! Sometimes I wish I did, because I feel like it would make my writing better! I’ve mentioned this before, but I love daydreaming about really really sad things—so writing all that is made easier bc I already make myself cry when I daydream about sad stuff lmfaooo (I realise this makes me sound unhinged af). But really, Steve himself is based on a lot of fuckboys I’ve spoken to or my friends have spoken to (not so much now, as I wouldn’t put myself through that now… but back when I was a teenager and didn’t know my worth and let assholes like that walk all over me! A lot of Steve’s gaslighting is a direct influence of IRL fuckboys!

[thenancywheelerfanclub]

el & mike, robin & steve parallels

please tell me if this has been elaborated on more bc i can’t really put my thoughts to words. i've been rewatching s3 and kinda thought that steve and mike are similar as i watched steve want to be the hero and protect robin but “failing” (idk if that's the best way to put it but she's always like the brain, the one who figures stuff out and i feel like that's who steve wants to be)

mike + el and steve + robin parallels have been pointed out specifically with the shared music that plays over robin’s coming out and the milkvan confession scene (at the end of s3) but maybe there’s more there

i kinda started spiraling during the scene in ep6 after steve and robin fall after trying to get the scissors and robin brings up high school. she’s talking about a shared class and how she was obsessed with steve and how he never even noticed her. there could be some connections made with how mike idolizes el (also the character parallels can be switched around, i don't feel like this parallel hinges on them having a set character) BUT the part that sparked my attention was all the talk of wanting to be normal, and how all even when they try to be above, all losers just want to be normal and accepted. steve then goes on about how it’s not all good and that all the things the world tells you should matter is just bullshit

and now im going to exit my parallel kinda bc his next line can be connected elsewhere. “but i guess you have to mess up to figure things out, right?” i feel like this foreshadow mike’s arc really well, especially with what we saw in s4. he’s fucked everything up with el and will, specifically because of what the world has taught him to believe, but he has to. he would never be able to understand himself and his relationships without realizing what doesn’t work

there could also be an argument made where this parallel continues into s4 with will entering the picture as nancy (and robin kinda?? its not like a direct thing still) robin and steve know what they’re relationship is, nancy pushes them together because thats what she thinks they want

but then you could switch el and will around because robin’s pushing makes nancy consider a relationship with steve again (st*ncy does not deserve rights); i think after their fight, mike and el know where they stand (broken up, just friends) but will’s meddling has mike make his big confession and think that he needs this relationship

anyway, very sorry for the rambling, please please please elaborate on any of the ideas listed, i would really love to hear someone smarter talking about this

[intrepidacious]

almost believing

summary: You and Bucky aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment. That doesn't mean you're getting out of having to pretend to be married for a mission.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 5.4k

warnings: miscommunication dialled up to eleven bc it's me; friends to lovers with lots of seething in between; set around christmas, but not a christmas fic; slight spoiler warning for wakanda forever just to be safe

please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

prompt: fake dating, baby 😌 title and initial inspiration for this fic were taken from "so close" from enchanted. yes. that scene.

a/n: this was written for my wonderful tiff's sweet as sugar writing challenge!! @traitorjoelite i'm so proud of you and i hope you enjoy this fic. i really thought this one would be short i swear. big shoutout and thank you to @sweetascanbee for listening to me rant about this for weeks, i appreciate you so much!!

masterlist | read on ao3

Here’s the thing: It’s supposed to be a simple mission. Just gathering intel at the hotel for one single night, the two of you pretending that everything is fine for a couple of hours more.

After all, it’s Bucky’s last mission with you before his reassignment goes through.

Well, it’s not like it’s going to make a difference to how much you’re seeing him, to be honest.

You’re not sure when he started making himself rare or why, but once you noticed it, it was impossible not to.

"Sorry, I’m heading out," when you ask him to grab lunch together seems inconspicuous enough, as does, "Ah, I’m already supposed to meet Sam," when you try asking him about that trip to IKEA you’d been talking about for ages.

But it doesn’t stop there. One excuse follows the next, and suddenly there’s always something more important than the two of you hanging out.

Of course, you try to rationalize it at first. Swallow down your hurt feelings, because Bucky is your friend, and sometimes people just need space. You’re fine. The two of you are fine.

Once he starts scheduling dates for Friday night, though—which has always been movie night, always, every week since you met him—you know that something’s wrong.

"Is he angry with me?" you keep asking Steve, who looks very uncomfortable and definitely knows what's going on.

"Just give him a little space," he suggests timidly. So you do. You let the whole thing go.

For like a week.

"I just don’t know what I did," you tell Sam over drinks, your head held in your hands.

"Nope," he answers, downing his dregs. "I’m not doing this. Nuh-uh."

"You know, too?" you cry, accusingly pointing at him.

"I don’t know anything," Sam deadpans. And then he puts his scarf on and leaves.

"Maybe try talking to Bucky about it?" Natasha suggests, either incapable of hiding her amused smile or unwilling to try.

"I would if I ever saw him for longer than a 'hi, how are you' at the gym," you mumble. Fact is, you’re getting pissed about him giving you the silent treatment without even knowing what you did wrong.

Because before this, whatever this is, things were fine. Great, even. Free afternoons were spent on each other’s couches, introducing him to your favorite tv shows and letting him teach you that stupid card game he loves so damn much. You’d even been starting to imagine that there might be something …

Clearly, you were wrong.

Now, you can’t even look at him without your throat closing up. It’s like you woke up a few weeks ago and he’s become an entirely different person around you, much more like he was at the beginning of your friendship, distant and cold.

He didn’t even tell you that he’d signed up for a transfer.

The mission call feels like your last chance.

A whole evening of teamwork and espionage, of him basically having no other choice than talking to you and finally telling you why the fuck he would get himself reassigned without even telling you beforehand. You could’ve hugged Fury for the opportunity.

That is, until you’re handed the file containing your fake identities for the op a few hours before you’re supposed to leave.

"You’re joking," you say as soon as you open the door.

"Great, you’re here as well," Steve says dryly. "Again, a) you both gotta learn how to knock, b) the whole thing wasn’t my idea or my decision, but I also think it’s the best directive for what you’re trying to do, and c) no, there’s no one else available for the mission. Anything I missed?"

Bucky deliberately doesn’t meet your eye, his arms still crossed as he stares Steve down with a look you can’t decipher. He doesn’t even acknowledge you standing in the door, but his foot is doing the tapping thing again.

You purse your lips and join the staring.

Steve sighs, rubbing his temples with the palms of his hands. "Listen, you two work well together and I know these past few weeks have been … strained"—you almost laugh at that—"but it’s just one night."

"We need to pretend we’re married," you say. "How’re we going to pull that off if he can’t stand being in the same room as me?"

"I trust that there won’t be any issues." Steve raises an eyebrow at Bucky as he says that, but of course he doesn’t get a reply. That would necessitate talking in your presence.

"One night," Bucky repeats through gritted teeth.

Not for the first time, there seems to be some sort of silent conversation between the two of them that you’re not privy to. You roll your eyes.

"I’ll see you later."

You leave with your back straight and without a glance over your shoulder, the door slamming shut behind you.

For a moment, you’re tempted to barge into Natasha’s office next, but you have a feeling like she’d just give you another one of her looks again, which really won’t better your mood. So instead, you slam another door and flop onto your bed, blankly staring at the ceiling for a while.

Surely, there’s some twisted sort of irony in this whole situation, but you’re not laughing.

Usually, before a mission, you’d get bagels together from the bakery around the corner. You haven’t done that in a while, but you’re still quietly begging your phone to show a new unread message when you look at the time however long later.

Instead, there’s just your lockscreen picture of Bucky’s grinning face that you can’t bear to get rid off, no matter how many times it stings you. It’s almost a year old, now, back when you’d taken him to go do your holiday shopping with you, insisting that "no one’s gonna recognize you, look at that great cap you’re wearing".

It’d started snowing halfway through the afternoon, and he’d kept reaching for your hand in order not to lose you in the crowd. You both gave up halfway through your list and just went to get coffee instead, strolling through Central Park and talking about nothing and everything.

That’s when you’d realized you'd been falling in love with him, laughing and fingers freezing around your paper cup, a strange new warmth spreading throughout your body.

You need to change your lockscreen.

***

Half an hour before pick-up, you leave your room with a duffle bag slung over your shoulder and almost run into Bucky. He’s leaning against the opposite wall like he’s been waiting for you, and it stings because that’s what he always used to do, back when you were still talking. When you could still pretend that maybe, just maybe, your feelings weren’t quite so hopeless.

Now, though, his easy smile is missing. Instead, an ever-present frown is furrowing his brows again, his mouth opened just a little, but nothing comes out.

"Look, I don’t want to do this any more than you do," you sigh. "But it’s a two-person job."

He nods, his tongue poking his cheek. "I know."

"Do you think you’re gonna be alright with us pretending we’re madly in love for a whole evening?"

Bucky’s jaw tightens. "I’ll be fine."

Of course he’s going to be fine.

You grab the strap of your bag more tightly. "I wish you would just tell me what I did."

"You didn’t do anything." If he’s telling the truth, though, why does he look so numb?

For a moment, you want to shout at him, cry, beg, make him tell you when and how this went wrong, but you don’t. You just stare at him in silence, hoping he’ll get it anyway, and he refuses to notice it.

"So," Bucky finally says. "You ready to get hitched?"

There’s the ghost of a grin in his eyes, and even though it’s not enough to mask the uncomfortable tilt of his shoulders, you sigh. At least he’s trying, you suppose.

"Let’s just get fake-married so we can fake-divorce and go our separate ways," you say, walking past him.

"I’ve got something for you."

You turn around again, raising your eyebrows as he holds up a ring between the fingers of his left hand. There’s a giant stone set in its center, striking and sparkling and not subtle in the slightest. Tony really went all out for appearance’s sake. Your fingers involuntarily tighten around the strap of your bag.

Bucky drops the ring in the palm of your hand.

"Quite the present," you chuckle nervously. You don’t even want to know how much this thing costs, and you feel like they're going to chop off your head if something happens to it.

"Try it on, then."

It’s a bit too large on your finger, and it feels foreign. It’s not you at all. Then again, it’s not supposed to be you.

Before you can say anything, though, Bucky shakes his head. "What?" you say with a roll of your eyes.

"That couldn’t look more fake if you tried. Wait a sec."

He turns his back towards you and rummages through his bag for a while, his jaw still set as he holds out his hand once more. With a sigh, you pull the ring off again and return it, but before you can pull your hand back, he catches it in his own.

This one slides onto your finger perfectly, and your eyes widen at the sight of it. It’s a lot subtler, with only a small emerald for decoration, but it’s so delicate and beautiful it takes your breath away.

Bucky’s mouth opens and closes, but he swallows whatever came to his mind. "That’s better," he says instead, and his voice sounds oddly rough.

"They gave you a backup?" you say, angling your hand this way and that to see how the gem catches the light.

"Mhm."

Something is off about this whole situation, but then you feel like you don’t really know Bucky anymore. Not like you used to, anyway. It used to be so easy to get a read on him.

You stand there in silence for a moment, and it’s only then that both of you realize he’s still holding your hand. He drops it immediately, and you pretend it doesn’t sting.

"How come you don’t get a ring?" you ask.

"Says who?" Bucky says, clearing his throat and activating the camouflage sleeve Tony had installed for his arm. Sure enough, there’s a ring on his hand as well.

You grab his hand curiously. When you touch it, there’s no difference between his fingers and the pseudo-platinum band, all of it just cool vibranium in disguise.

"It’s fake," you say. "It’s not the same."

"No," he agrees and pulls his hand away. "Looks real enough, though."

You notice the red splotches on his neck and wonder what it is that you’ve said this time, but it’s pointless anyway. He’s not going to tell you even if you asked.

Maybe you should be used to him icing you out by now, but it still hurts.

***

"Yes, Steve, I know," you sigh. "We’re just gathering intel, nothing else."

"I just wanted to have you say it again so we’re all clear. You both love taking risks when it’s not necessary."

"Alright, punk, we got it," Bucky says, tugging at his tie again.

You can’t even blame him for the nervous habit; you’ve been twisting your fake wedding ring around your finger for the entire drive.

This isn’t the first time the two of you had to go undercover as a couple; hell, it’s not even the first time you’ve pretended to be married. Usually, though, you could have a laugh about the whole thing together.

Now you barely know how to act around Bucky as yourself, let alone as some made up woman.

"I think we’re going to attract a lot of attention if we don’t get out soon," you say, readjusting the collar of your blouse underneath your coat.

You notice Steve staring at your hand for a moment, a frown between his brows, but his lips curve upwards a split second later. "Ready to do this?" he asks and you smile a little in confirmation.

Bucky takes another breath and then he nods curtly. "Let’s go."

The change that goes through him as soon as the two of you climb out of the car is so stark you almost turn on your heels again and beg Steve to let you off the hook, after all. His hand sneaks around your waist and pulls you closely into his side as you walk towards the hotel, all soft smiles and charm.

"Sorry for the holdup," he tells the bellman waiting next to your bags with a wink. "The missus and I just needed another minute."

You lightly slap Bucky’s chest in fake indignation. It’s quick thinking on his part, really.

When you’re checking in under your assumed names for the evening, he keeps his arm around you, and the content look stays in his eyes. A subtle glance at your surroundings tells you some of your persons of interest have already arrived early for the event tonight, looking around the sparkling lobby with the same feigned boredom.

Bucky nudges your cheek with his nose and then smiles again when you look at him. It makes your brain shut off for a moment.

When he looks at you like this, it’s so easy to forget the past couple of months and just pretend for a moment. What if there was no mission at all, and it could simply be the two of you?

But of course, that’s not possible. All of it is fake, including the way he looks at you. You know that.

So how come it doesn’t feel fake to you at all?

***

You hate this dress, you hate these people, you hate this dinner, and most of all, you hate how much you enjoy spending this much time so physically close to Bucky.

It feels so natural when he links your hand with yours, so fucking meant to be, even though he’s just putting on a show for the band of creeps you’re tasked to keep an eye on.

But damn if he’s not good at it.

It’s amazing, really, how his eyes immediately soften when you turn your head towards him, like you’re the only person in the whole room. He looks at you during this charade like you wish he’d look at you daily, even far from prying eyes around you; especially then. It makes your breath shorten, your heart pounding erratically because it thinks it’s getting everything it’s ever hoped for.

Hearts are often stupid like that.

A full night of glances and touches and the pretence of secret whispers will do all kinds of twisted things to your feelings.

There’s a lull in the conversation, and when Bucky squeezes your hand you realize he’s no longer the only one who’s looking at you.

You chuckle nervously. "I’m sorry, I got … distracted for a moment. What were you saying?"

"Ah, newlyweds," one of the investor goons laughs. He’s a particularly vile looking man whose suit is way too big on his spindly limbs.

Bucky, academy award winning actor in another lifetime, chuckles politely while the fondness in his eyes seems to increase tenfold. "We’ve been married three years, actually," he says, sticking to your official cover story.

It’d been Tony’s idea to keep your fake timeline as close to the truth as possible to avoid any slip-ups. It’s a great move on paper, really, but in reality it just adds another nail to the coffin.

Three years ago, you were on a mission in Brussels, only the second one ever where it was just the two of you. It was mostly surveillance, so one of you usually had downtime while the other kept lookout. It became customary that you’d entertain each other during those long hours, getting to know each other intimately for the first time, taking the first tentative steps towards the friendship you now share.

That mission was the groundwork of your falling in love with him in the first place.

"You seem to be doing something right if you’re both still so enamoured with each other," Spindly Arms says.

"I’m the luckiest guy in the world," Bucky responds, still looking into your eyes. "It’s hard not to do the right thing, then."

He presses a kiss to your cheek and you smile timidly. His lips linger for just a moment, and then he moves to whisper into your ear, something you’re sure looks like sweet nothings to everybody else but is actually a, "Don’t fall asleep on me."

You tilt your head, shove him teasingly as if he’d said something inappropriate, and because he’s always been quick to catch on he winks, obvious enough so that the other people that are part of this conversation can clearly see it.

It’s not long after this that you excuse yourselves, walking around the room with apparent aimlessness. Everything is sparkling with pure gold decorations and countless little twinkling lights that have been scattered around the room like millions of fireflies. You spot an actual orchestra right underneath the massive Christmas tree.

"Kind of tacky, don’t you think?" Bucky murmurs with a sideway glance at you.

"Maybe a little," you say.

The truth is, though, the room looks oversaturated and expensive and magnificent. Something straight out of a Hallmark movie, more like a movie set than a real place.

It’s the one thing that keeps this whole thing from being completely unbearable.

He must have seen the truth in your eyes, because he ducks his head and says quietly, "I’m gonna go check out the terrace."

You just nod and smile as he kisses your cheek again and then vanishes through the crowd with a few long strides. Sighing, you take another drink from the tray a waiter offers you, absent-mindedly rubbing your cheek.

"What a lovely surprise," a voice says next to you and you freeze for a moment before forcing yourself to calmly take a sip. "Miss … Winter, was it?"

"Mrs," you say with a pleasant smile. "Good evening, Director."

"Right, of course." Director de Fontaine eyes her martini warily. "I don’t suppose these olives are fresh, do you?"

Your mind is racing. If she’s here on official business, then your entire operation might be compromised.

"So," she continues, looking rather bored. "Met any interesting people yet, Mrs Winter?"

"Oh, yes," you say lightly, clinging to your role of unassuming young wife. "It’s all rather exciting."

"I’m sure. These kinds of events are all very … shiny." She looks into your eyes and there’s an almost explicit warning written in hers. "It’s surprisingly easy to get blinded."

You swallow heavily even as she smiles. "If you’ll excuse me, I think I see someone …"

You quickly walk over to the buffet table where some of the wives have formed a semi circle of gossip, trying your best to hide your sigh of relief when the director doesn’t follow you.

For a few minutes, you lose yourself in pointless gossip, until one of the women takes hold of your forearm.

"You must tell us, what’s your secret?"

"Excuse me?" you chuckle nervously.

"Your husband!" she exclaims, earning a few nods from some of the others. "He clearly adores you," she goes on. "I don’t think he’s looked away from you once since you joined us."

You steal a look around your shoulder. She’s right. Bucky’s gaze immediately locks with yours, an almost bashful grin on his lips. You caught me, his eyes seem to say, and you feel a rush of heat go through you.

He should be nominated for an Oscar with this performance.

Quickly, you turn around again to meet several expectant pairs of eyes.

"I don’t know what to tell you," you say. "He’s just … always been like this. I mean, he’s my best friend. I really don’t know what I would do without him."

There’s not a word of a lie in what you’re saying, and it elicits a round of coos and murmurs even as your heart gives a sharp pang.

"Dance with me?"

You flinch, turning to look at Bucky’s outstretched hand, at the sad, hopeful look in his eyes, and the line between reality and fiction blurs a bit more.

You take his hand, and he pulls you onto the dance floor, some cheery Christmas song ramping up to its big finale. Then, the band switches to a slower song. To you, it sounds mournful.

"That was nice," Bucky mutters into your ear. "What you said."

"I meant it, you know," you whisper, but he turns, and you don’t think he’s heard you.

Bucky places his hand on your hip and you hide a shudder. His gloved fingers wrap around yours, and then you start moving again.

You barely know the steps, but he’s a great leader, and he doesn’t say anything when you step on his toes. In fact, his gaze softens even more when he looks at you after the third time, the hand around your waist pulling you a little closer.

"How are you doing this?" you say without stopping to smile.

"Easy," Bucky says, and the way he says it almost makes you believe it’s true.

You bite your lip, trying to stop yourself from breathing him in. "I didn’t mean the dancing."

With the last note of the song, you stumble over his foot again and he snorts. "Me neither."

The melody changes and neither of you lets go. His steps are getting slower, smaller, like he’s just trying to keep both of you in motion. Your head is spinning. The twinkling lights are starting to blur into a great mass of stars in the background, like you’re at the center of a music box and everything else is just background noise.

You wrap both hands around his neck as you’re swaying, then, your foreheads only inches apart. You could stay in this moment forever, you think, as it stretches into blissful infinity. Somewhere, a clock strikes ten.

Bucky leans in a little closer and your breath hitches again.

"It’s time," he whispers, and your eyes fly open.

You’d almost forgotten about the mission.

"Val is here," you say quietly.

His expression hardens for just a second. "What?"

"She came to talk to me earlier. She knows we’re here."

"Why didn’t you say something?"

"I … There wasn’t time."

"We’re just gonna have to be quick and discrete."

You open your mouth, but then you see the distance close in again between you two, and so you just nod.

The plan is almost laughably simple, but it’s probably going to work out just as you’ve laid out beforehand. Everyone in the room has watched the two of you staring at each other for the past couple of hours, so no one bats an eye when Bucky nudges you gently and you make your way up the stairs to the fancy elevator that’s going to take you up to a bedroom.

Or, more specifically, to a bedroom that’s being used to store all kinds of evidence, but no one else needs to know that little detail.

You notice the director talking to Spindly Arms and a couple of other people, but you force your gaze not to linger on her. Instead, you grab Bucky’s hand more tightly.

He lets go of you as soon as the elevator doors close behind the two of you, dragging a hand through his hair and messing it up. There aren’t any cameras in the elevator, but you’re both pretty sure there will be on the floor you’re going. "CIA exposure, that’s exactly what we needed."

"There was nothing I could’ve done," you say, tugging your sleeves down your shoulders.

"I’m not blaming you, sweetheart," Bucky says distractedly, loosening his tie. Your heart makes a very heavy thud. "But if Walker shows up tonight as well, I’m gonna shoot first and ask questions later."

"No, you won’t," you say with a grin, mostly because you know he didn’t bring his gun because the male attendees were all frisked at the entrance.

"Maybe I’ll throw a knife. I could say it was an accident."

The conversation lasts barely a moment, but it reminds you so much of what the two of you used to be, it hurts.

You follow him stumbling out of the elevator onto the right floor with a breathless laugh. There’s no one in sight as you subtly check the room numbers before making him follow you with a coquettish smile for the security camera.

You find the right door without much trubble, pulling the keycard out of your inconvenient little handbag. "Come on now," you murmur as the lock rejects it at the first try.

Suddenly, Bucky’s hand is on your waist again, and you gasp as he spins around. The keycard drops to the floor.

He presses you against the wall, effectively trapping you in his embrace. Your hands are laid flat against his chest, his heart thundering madly underneath your fingertips. Bucky’s eyes flit around madly, like he’s trying to come up with something on the spot and, for the first time since you’ve known him, is left without ideas.

You gasp as his nose brushes against yours.

"Sorry," he whispers hoarsely. And then he kisses you.

Your body responds immediately, lighting a fire in your core as his lips press against yours, hungry, gentle, almost apologetic. You can taste the champagne on his tongue.

You arch your back against him on instinct as his hands travel down your arms, brushing your hips, your tighs, slowly parting your dress at the slit. Your eyes fly open the moment you realize what he’s doing, even though he swallows your gasp.

In one smooth motion, he pulls the I.C.E.R. out of the garter on your thigh and fires a single, silenced shot. The guy with the earpiece barely has the time to grunt before he sacks against the opposite wall, unconscious, his hand still in the pocket of his jacket.

"Fuck," you hiss, pushing Bucky away from you. He stumbles slightly, the gun loose in his fingers. His eyes are almost black as he blinks at you. "You could have told me we’re being shadowed."

Bucky’s mouth is stained from your lipstick, and the sight of that alone makes your head swim. You can still feel the ghost of his hand on your leg.

"It’d have blown our cover," he replies, infuriatingly calm. "Hate me later, our window has just narrowed by a bit."

You swallow, blinking to try and gain control over your breath again, grabbing your gun back with a short nod. "Let’s finish this, then."

***

Back at the Compound, you both give an exhausted report about the events of the night, leaving out nothing but your improvised kiss on floor fifteen.

Your lips are still tingling with it.

Finally, you and Bucky are left alone in the briefing room, and for the first time in weeks, he doesn’t just get up and leave as soon as the silence takes hold. Instead, you both sit next to each other, staring straight ahead.

"I guess we should talk," he says slowly, reluctantly, and you can’t help it.

Your defenses shoot up again.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about," you say, squinting.

"Yes, you do." He’s lost the tie hours ago, but he keeps tugging at the fabric in his hands as if it could give him the words he’s looking for. "I shouldn’t have kissed you, not with … Not like that."

"Like you said, the guy would’ve blown our cover," you say, crossing your arms.

"Doesn’t make it right."

"What do you want me to say, Buck?" you say sharply. "That you should’ve talked to me before? Well, I’m kind of used to you not doing that anymore, so just forget it."

"Y/N—"

"No, really, it’s fine. Like I said, you’re leaving, anyway, so what does it matter. Didn’t tell me you were planning to do that, either. You just did it."

"You know why I’m leaving."

"No, I fucking don’t!" There are tears in your eyes now. "I have been trying really hard, Bucky, but you’ve just shut me out. I thought you needed space, which is fine, by the way, but you just—one day you decided you were done with me and that was it."

He stares at you incredulously. "You seriously don’t remember."

"Don’t remember what?!"

"That you were talking about me. To Natasha."

The memory rushes through you so violently it’s almost ridiculous you hadn’t thought about it in months.

You’d just come back from another undercover op, and you’d called her right as the door to your room had closed behind you because not for the first time, your feelings had threatened to spill over again.

"You should talk to him. Be honest."

"No, Nat, come on, I can’t—I can’t do that to him. I can’t risk … you know, he’s my best friend. And that’s all it can ever be. I don’t want to ruin what we have. I just wish he’d make it easier."

"You’re making excuses, you know. Both of you deserve a bit of happiness, don’t you think?"

"I tried," Bucky says now, barely looking at you. "I tried making it easier. But you’re so …"

"So what?" you ask hollowly, ignoring the fact that you can feel the tears starting to trickle down your cheeks now. "So pathetic? That’s what this is about, isn’t it? That’s why you asked for the transfer, so you can be rid of me."

"Rid of you?" Bucky starts, but you ignore him.

"You know what, Bucky, fuck you if you think my feelings for you are so much of an inconvenience that you need to leave the state. Silly me for thinking we could be adults about this."

"You’re the one who wouldn’t just tell me."

"Well, now you know anyway and I’m sure once you’re off to Cairo or wherever the fuck they’re going to send you, you can have a big old laugh about the stupid girl who fell in love with you despite the fact that—"

"Love?"

"I mean, obviously?!"

"You … you’re in love … with me?" There’s something very soft and vulnerable in Bucky’s eyes.

"Are we talking about two different phone calls?"

"I thought you hated me."

You huff incredulously. "Why would I hate you?"

"That’s why I gave you space, I thought … but then …" He grabs your hands. "Sweetheart, I’ve been in love with you for years."

It punches the air out of your lungs. "What?"

Bucky’s eyes are devastating as he looks at you, then. "I’m so sorry, I—I got it all wrong, I was just—I thought you know and you didn’t see me like that and that’s why I …"

"You …?" you say, still not quite comprehending what’s going on.

His thumb caresses your knuckles, halting when it makes contact with the ring you’re still wearing. "I'm in love with you," he says quietly.

"I don’t understand," you whisper.

"Please tell me I didn’t fuck this up completely."

This time, you’re the one to lean in.

Where your first kiss in the hallway had been feverish, this one is soft, almost unbelievably sweet, both of you still breathless with the fact that you’re allowed to do this. Finally, it feels like all the pieces are falling into place and you’re home again.

You press closer into him and Bucky smiles against your lips, pulling you in with his hands on your hips just like he did when you were dancing earlier.

The loudspeakers overhead crackle. "Alright, kids, we’re gonna break this up until you’re back in your own quarters, I don’t want to expose FRIDAY to the creation of your sex tape."

You break up with a snort.

"Fuck you, Tony," Bucky shouts, but he’s still smiling as wide as you’ve ever seen him do.

You giggle as you nudge your nose against his, curling your fingers into his hair. "That reminds me, you know."

"Of what?"

"Quick and discrete," you mumble, repeating his words from the hotel. "Title of your sex tape."

Bucky groans and shuts you up again.

(A few years later, you get the ring back.)

happy holidays, y'all 💛 thank you for reading!! if you want to see more of my writing, check out my masterlist or follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications!!

[pouringmyheartoutforpaper]

i can’t stop thinking abt like semi vanilla sex with soft boyfriend steve… but he’s obviously daddy because casual dominance mixed into bedroom dominance 😚🤌

and he’s such a dirty talker “i know honey, you’re okay. i know, feels so good doesn’t it? daddy’s here. not going anywhere”

just so sweet and loving🥺

i have a very anxious attachment style and i just want him to hold me and fuck me and when i grab on to him he just shh’s me.

HERE IT IS. 'TIS DONE

Euphoria (s.h.)

i am so sorry i got SO carried away when i saw this ask. i had to turn it into a longer fic. thank you so much and i will def be using this again <3

first time fic, smut, fluff, shy!reader, reader is referred to as angel, bc y/n makes me cringe :< I based this off of the stancy sex scene bc steve in that makes me swoon.

steve is a gentleman, first and foremost. so when his angel starts to get desperate, he knows its time to come up with a plan. she doesnt even notice that shes showing it, but of course, steve analyzes her every move. hes worked out what she likes and how she likes it before they even talk about sex. poor angel is shy about all of it. she wants him, really bad. but hes taking things slowly for her own good. shes had one relationship in the past that shes still unlearning, hence why shes so shy around him. learning to look at sex as something enjoyable as opposed to a chore. angel wanted sex with steve, she didn’t dread it like other times.

steve made her feel safe, and genuinely beautiful. he makes her feel like a princess. angel was surprised when he kissed her and it felt good. it was passionate and felt like home. it didnt feel like she was being used, it felt like mutual adoration and love in a physical form. god, it felt amazing. she wanted more.

five months of comfort and bliss later, steve hasn’t made one sexual move on her. he appreciates what she gives him, but he knows they have all the time in the world. he knows shes "it" for him. shes his best friend. his angel will make it onto his lap, but when things pick up she gets shy. why wasnt he making a move? does he not want her?

which brings them to where they are now. steves hands wandering over her body, her propped up on his lap. her pretty sundress that started all this was riding up her thighs. her chest pressed into his. it was getting harder and harder to be a gentleman. he could see her lace bralette through her dress and he was ravenous. every bone in his body was aching to rip it off and kiss her all over. but he wouldnt. he would take her out first. make sure it's perfect. make sure its magical. make sure it's not on his living room couch at three in the afternoon.

“steve” it came out like a whimper “want more”

his breath hitched. and all he could think of was making angel his little wife.

“yeah baby?” he grips her hair a little, and rubs his thumb up and down the little area of skin right below her temple and next to her ear. “i want you too angel… how about ill take you out tomorrow night? and we’ll go from there ,yea? want you to think it through m’kay? ill give you whatever you want, you just have to ask.”

steve picked her up at five. of course, because it's steve, a candlelit picnic was in order. he had everything set up in the back of his BMW. opened the trunk, making sure a blanket was placed down before everything else. he didn't want her to get her dress dirty.

he was obscenely obsessed with the pretty white dress that went just above the knee. it had pretty little frills on the bottom, and a straight across neckline a few inches above her nipples. a shiny gold and pearl necklace, strappy gold two-inch heels angel fished out of the bottom of her closet. he was practically drooling. feeding her chocolate strawberries he bought at the farmers market down the street. she made flower crowns out of the little dandelions around the blanket. his heart full of love for her.

back at steves house, angel changed into her pajamas. some pink silk pants and one of steves sweaters. he made some tea and put out her favorite snacks on the coffee table for when she came back down. snuggling up to him and thanking him immensely for her day, and allowing her to stay over. to which of course he told her that he should be thanking her.

hours and hours of hugs and kisses that lasted a little bit longer than intended later, it was around eight at night.

"honey, do you wanna get ready for bed? i can put on a movie for us in my room if you want?" steve whispered as gently as he could into angels ear, lips brushing over the shiny earrings she was wearing.

"yes, please. thank you" it came out small, she was nervous. he can tell. he took her face into his hands, rubbing at her cheek lightly.

"listen to me doll, if you just want to watch a movie or cuddle or- just- whatever you want to do, I wont be upset. at all. i promise. i don't want you to feel nervous."

she smiled. " 'm not nervous,-" a little quieter, looking down at her socks, "im excited. just scared that I wont do a good job."

"hey, thats not what it's about babe, there's literally-" he scoffed, "- no way you could do anything wrong. promise." his hands wrapped around her waist, lifting her up and spinning her like she was a princess, making her laugh again. "if you want something just let me know l'right? if you're even like a little tiny bit hesitant you don't even have to say anything okay? no big deal" he held his hands up, emphasizing his last statement.

she gave him the biggest sweetest kiss in the whole wide world, the kind that made his brain go fuzzy and gave him a high that nothing else in the world could.

"c'mon babygirl" he broke the kiss, "gonna lock up the house, kay? go ahead and go upstairs 'nd lay down. ill put a movie on."

as he made his way around the house, steve went over everything he knew she loved in his head. images of her heat rushing to her cheeks, eyes blown wide, pretty thighs pressing together. steve knows what he's doing in bed, and he knows that. so he's not too nervous about his performance. he knows he can satisfy his angel, and he's anticipating every second of it. but the thought of undressing her, seeing her exposed and beautiful, had his breath hitching and his jeans getting tighter as he climbs the stairs to his bedroom.

a soft knock on the door, "honey, can I come in?"

"yes steve"

"hey baby-" and that was all he could get out before his jaw dropped and his pupils blew to two times their original size.

there she was, standing in his bedroom, with that same heat in her cheeks, same blown-out eyes. but this time, his angel was draped in a sheer lace robe that was hanging open, revealing her bare skin donned in sheer, floral lingerie. her nipples peaking through the fabric, skin glowing in the warm light from his bedside. a real-life angel.

"i-" she looked down at her feet, one arm swinging over her stomach in an attempt to cover herself, suddenly feeling very vulnerable, "-i thought it was pretty-"

"you're so gorgeous baby," closing the gap between them immediately, wrapping his arm around her hips, pulling her closer. placing his hand on the side of her freshly clean face. "I love you so much." capturing her lips in a fairytale kiss, trying to express as much love as he can with the gesture.

his arms wrapped around her waist, lifting her up into his arms. steve swears he's in a dream. angel's legs wrapping around his waist, grinding her cunt onto his stomach and devouring him.

"do you want me, love? tell me."

"yes please steve, 'm ready"

he lowers her onto the neatly made bed. he prepared his room the best he could when he woke up this morning. fluffing all his pillows, and washing his comforter. a bouquet of roses with her name on the tag laid on his bedside table.

"i love you, so so much sweetheart." his voice is soft and sweet, gentle and loving.

"i love you too."

slow, passionate, and messy kisses. slotting himself between her legs before pulling his shirt off. leaning down to kiss all over her face, smiling into each one. he moves down to her neck, licking and kissing all over. he finally lays his lips onto her jaw and sucks the soft skin into his mouth. a strangled moan leaves her lips. arching her back and running her hands all over his chest. steve pushes off his jeans and places a firm hand on her waist.

poor angel’s eyes widen at the outline of steves cock through his boxers. her face heating up and her hips moving on their own. it was huge. she knew steve was big. lingering stares at his bulge in his jeans (or sweatpants, or god forbid those little shorts) but seeing it so close was amazing.

steves hands traveled up her hips, right below her breasts. he stopped to look up at her. “is this okay lovey?”

“yes steve”

his hands palmed her tits over the veil of fabric. kneading the skin in his hands. placing kisses over both of them and humming into her chest. poor, poor angel. shes moaning at this point. making steves cock painfully hard.

“more please?”

he grinned. cocky as ever. “‘course baby.” before moving down her stomach, kissing a trail all the way down to her thighs. opening her legs and sucking the skin inside. working his way up till he got to her pretty, pretty cunt.

his soft breath on her. her scent flooding his senses and making him swoon. all he could think about was the beautiful angel in front of him, and how bad he wanted to eat her pretty pussy.

“can i kiss you here?”

her face flushed and mouth open above him made him melt. “please” she sighed, desperate.

his lips came down to place a kiss right on the front of her panties, before moving upwards to her pretty nipples. his jaw clenched from fighting the urge to devour her. kissing each of them before reaching to unhook her bra, asking her sweetly if he could take it off.

“yes steve, i love you”

shes just so adorable and desperate he just adores her. unhooking the floral fabric and sliding it off her arms. he gazes at her pretty tits, red around the nipple from how sensitive she is, and a small gasp falls from his lips.

“so beautiful baby. my good girl.” and angel is bucking her hips up towards him at his praise. unbelievably horny and already a little cockdrunk. “yeah, you wanna be my good girl? let me make love to you sweetheart.”

“i love you stevie,”

“i love you angel, always” and hes so content. adoring her, touching her, loving her. he moves down to her panties again, warm breath on her swollen clit. “is it okay if these come off angel? you look so beautiful in them, but I just wanna see you hon.” smiling fondly when she lets out a little “yes please.”

he hooks his thumbs onto the waistband, pressing kisses all over it before sliding them off. angel moaned when her cunt was hit by the cool air. steves eyes on her like he was going to ravish her. she was soaking wet, clit red and swollen, clenching by itself every few seconds. “so pretty,,,can i touch you here? ,,please baby.” briefly sitting up to admire his angel completely bare. cock throbbing and heart pounding.

“please d-stevie” and of course he knows what she was going to say. angel has called him daddy before, mostly jokingly, but hes an observant lover. so obviously he notices how much angel loves it when he takes care of her. he expected her praise kink, and he expected her to let “daddy” slip out once or twice. everyone called steve daddy sometimes, as a joke. but he liked it a little too much when she did it.

he kisses her sweetly, lips tangled with angel’s. before moving down to her pretty pussy. licking his lips before gently touching her folds, opening up her pretty flower. she whined and moaned. pretty little head filled with only thoughts of him.

"so pretty baby, so fucking beautiful. love you so much" reaching one of his hands to hold hers firmly, grounding her in reality. kissing up her thighs before coming back up to kiss her. "is everything okay?"

she smiled, both of their hearts warm and content. "yeah stevie. i want you."

passionate, loving, mind-blowing, earth-shattering kisses that stopped time for the next twenty minutes. his hands roamed all over her, her fingers twirling in his hair, making him moan into her mouth

steves fingers started to drag down her stomach, goosebumps decorating her skin as his palm rests on her clit. taking her bottom lip into his teeth before kissing her deeper. steve wants to get her ready for him, but shes so ready for him to let go and fill her up. angel's fingertips trailing down his happy trail, dipping under the waistband. pouting at him.

"what'd i tell you love? ill do anything for you, you just have to ask me." and he was right. he didn't do anything unless she specifically asked for it, which was why he was still straining against his boxers.

"want it off." pushing the fabric down unsuccessfully. pout still very prominent.

"thank you babe," and hes picking her up off the bed and switching their position swiftly. "you want to do it or me angel?"

"me! me." she said a little too quickly, making them both giggle a little. she leans up to kiss him, still grinning. pulling the waistband down his hips, slowly exposing more of him. just seeing the first few inches of skin showing had her head spinning and her face heating up. steve places his hand on her face as he lifts his hips a little allowing him to get rid of the extra fabric. moaning as his cock hits the air. springing straight up and lifting a weight off his shoulders. so delighted he almost didn't notice his angel's face. her eyes glassed over, mouth opening subconsciously. gazing up at him and letting out a small whimper. admiring him completely, the prettiest cock in the world.

"steve..."

"i know beautiful, y' look so pretty. cmon lovey, give me a kiss." maneuvering her face back to his. a soft grip on her hips, kneading the skin and rubbing up and down her back. heat pooling between their legs and flushing their skin. angel's fingertips trailing up the soft skin on his chest, gripping and kissing him everywhere the position would let her. his fingers find her cunt again, fucking her open on his hand slowly. her mouth open and moaning into his mouth.

"steve, steve, steve" she pulls away from his lips, staring at his flushed expression. "I wanna help you."

"fuck- alright sweetheart. go easy on me babe, want to stay like this forever." shifting his weight to make her as comfortable as he could. her lips trailing down his stomach, kissing and trailing her nails down his sides, making his hips jerk.

"can I touch you stevie?"

"i-" a deep breath racking through his body, "i'd love that baby."

the feeling of her lips kissing the neatly trimmed hair around his cock has him gripping the bedsheets. throwing his head back and groaning before immediately forcing himself to look back so he won't miss anything. gasping when her hand wraps around him, thumb and index finger lightly brushing the tip of his cock. "jesus christ babe. yeah,,, good job baby; keep going."

and she does just that, stroking him from the base of his cock all the way up to the tip. he's moaning filthily, almost embarrassingly. her lips meeting his tip in a soft kiss, making him shake a little, smiling down at her.

he has to pull her off of him when it gets a little too much for him. he still wants to last another hour or two, and with the way her mouth is moving on him makes him think otherwise. rubbing her shoulders as he pulls her back up to him, kissing her sweetly. flipping their position to where he's hovered over her. pressing their foreheads together.

"you want me to keep going hone-"

"yeahh-" it's a long and drawn out whimper. a soft smile and a chuckle leaving his lips in response, leaving them both giggling a little bit. giggles that quickly turned into moans when his hands went back down to her cunt, kissing her as softly as he could once again. his lips pressed against hers, making them both feel hazy and soft.

"okay baby, you gonna relax for me, yeah?" his hands coming back up to her torso, stroking slowly and sensually. moving down to her hips, lifting them up and placing a pillow underneath her. his angel's cunt exposed on display for him. his wandering hands back onto her body, leaning down to kiss her. pressing their bodies together, her soft tits against his chest, bare skin pressed together, making his breath hitch. his cock starting to press against her clit, creating friction as he started to rock against her sex. his angel whimpering and quivering from how sensitive she is.

"shhh, ive got you baby. ive got you. that feels good yeah? i know honey. god- you feel so good baby. good girl. my good girl." her pussy pulsating and contracting at his praise.

"want more steve, more please, i want you inside of me, please."

his eyes roll back into his head a little bit, feathering kisses onto her collarbones before leaning back up just enough to look at her. savoring the way her face turned red, a soft flush over her chest and neck. all the way down to her vulva, flushed and swollen with arousal.

"yeah baby? yeah? you want me inside you honey? want me to make love to my pretty girl?" voice breathy and adoring.

a whisper. soft enough that he could only hear because he was so in tune with her. "please daddy, love you stevie, please."

"oh baby, -fuck" stroking his cock before lining himself up with her lips, spreading her arousal around with his tip. "deep breath for me sweet girl, deep breath. ive got you okay? gonna take care of you. make love to my pretty baby. tell me if you want me to stop babygirl, ill be gentle with you, 'kay? ive got you."

finally, steve grabs onto her propped-up hips, kneading them soothingly. rubbing up and down her torso while he spreads her cunt open. legs open wide for him as he slides his thick cock inside her. the head of his cock inside her as she lets out a moan thats almost a scream. the stretch is euphoric. slightly painful, but it just fit so good inside her. making her throw her head back, giving steve a good view of her neck and tits.

his jaw slack and head thrown back in pure bliss. loud moans leaving his lips to match hers before leaning back down to her face.

"shh, shh, i've got you baby, good girl. i love you so much. you okay?" his cock halfway inside, massaging her clit with his thumb. working her open around him.

"'m okay stevie, want more please- steve!" his angel begged him. her voice desperate, making him shudder. he moves his hands up to hers, intertwining their fingers and rocking his hips into hers. leaning down to kiss her while he bottoms out inside her. her pretty cunt fluttering around him as he buries himself inside her. his lips moving down to her neck, sucking and biting the soft skin into his mouth. reveling in the way shes reacting, back arching and chanting his name.

"love you so much. god youre beautiful. you feel so good baby. so good." he groaned into her neck. steve imagines this is what heaven feels like. he's so in love with her, an all-consuming, comfortable love that makes him feel completely whole. a passionate love that makes him feel red hot and desperate.

"i love you so much steve, so much. feels s' good." her hand caressing his face, pulling him in for a lazy sensual kiss that makes time stop. his arms pulling her legs to rest on his hips. pulling away slightly to whisper into her lips.

"you want me to move, sweet girl? you feeling okay?"

"im okay steve, are you okay?", he smiles softly, providing a sincere affirmation. "please steve, i want you. all of you. forever."

he has to fight to not tear up at how much her words really affect him. the emotion and passion in the room being shared between the both of them. intoxicating and euphoric.

"i'm so in love with you," his hips pulling back and rolling into her again. moans filling the room, the sound of him making love to her messy cunt flooding his system. a deep, sensual rhythm developing. the trail of hair on his pelvis and stomach becoming increasingly slick. holding each other as close as possible, love flooding them with every intake of breath.

rutting and grinding into her. her hands running down his back and trailing kisses up his chest. gasping when his fingers pick up an unrelenting pace on her clit. working together to bring each other to the edge, enjoying every second of it.

"oh- steve" he could feel his angel's cunt clamping down on him. his cock twitching, so close to finishing. he's been close for the past hour, holding himself at the edge to make sure she finishes first.

"yeah baby? fuck- my good girl. what do you need from me sweet girl?" his thrusts becoming faster and more desperate, groaning and moaning into each others mouths.

"'m close stevie, 'm close"

"i know, i know baby. i love you, i want you to cum for me, sweetheart." the pace of his fingers on her clit remaining constant as she follows his orders. letting her climax build to its peak, babbling and desperate as he continues to work her through it.

"im gonna cum with you lovey, cum for me." and that's all it takes to have the knot in her stomach unravel. white hot pleasure racking through her body, vision blurring, and shes almost certain shes seeing stars.

"steve!" her moans mimicking screams, body writhing and jerking with her orgasm. enough for steve to let himself cum. his own orgasm flooding her cunt. muscles tensing and relaxing, a long, guttural moan falling from his slack jaw, eyelids fluttering shut and back open again to look at the angel in front of him.

euphoria

bodies relaxing and falling into the sheets below them. steve kissing up her neck and pulling her into another time-stopping kiss. still inside of her, holding her close to him and treating her like the most precious thing in the world. rubbing soothing circles into her cheek as he pulls out. comforting her when she whimpers.

"youre the best thing that's ever happened to me. that was so amazing. i love you so much." steve rasped, absolutely beaming at her.

"i love you so much steve, i think i just ascended." sending them both into a fit of giggles and kisses.

"i think I did too babydoll. lets get you cleaned up."

[dameronology]

steve harrington + "you don't love me anymore?"

request: ok so obviously the scene with steve & nancy breaking up in the bathroom is fucking heartbreaking BUT if he had a similar convo with his s.o later on when he's a little older (maybe s3-4, young adult sorta age) and he's a bit more mature now?? would he put up a fight, would he let them go?? i'm so desperate to hear what u think

a/n: that scene killed me!! i'm glad it made way for nancy + jonathan but my god it's painful to watch😭😭

warnings: angst, no spoilers for s4

part two

i say this with all the love in the world: steve is low-key a dumbass and it would take him a while to pick up on something being wrong. probably bc he's so happy and content in your little routine - with him working at the mall, babysitting spending time with the hawkins kids, coming home to you - that he never stops to think about the fact you might not be

because of all the things that happened in the lead up to you guys being in a relationship - barb's disappearance, nancy suddenly breaking up with him, dealing with all the shit from the upside down all whilst dealing with the fact his parents are disappointed in him - your relationship is like...everything to him. so when he does realise that you're slipping away, it hits him like a fucking train

it's one night when you're about to drift off to bed; you've had a long day at college and he's telling you about him & robin goofing off at work all day. steve rolls over to sleep and says i love you

it's when you shove his arms off of you and don't say those three words back that he feels his heart break in two

even more so than yours, because this isn't easy for you either. steve is funny and sweet and the biggest idiot you've ever met and you have literally every reason to love him and not a single one to push him away

but sometimes, things just happen. you can't help how you feel. there's no reason for it. it just kinda feels like your life is moving forward and steve is in the past, no matter how hard you try to pull him with you

he approaches you the next morning in the kitchen. there's no greeting, no good morning kiss or hug like always. he just finds you in the corner making coffee and he says it simply and plainly.

"you don't love me anymore, do you?"

when he said to those words to nancy two or three years before, it was different. she was his first love, but they were high school students. they had their whole lives ahead of them to get over each other but he was really convinced that this, that you and him, were it.

so he's not gonna let you go without a fight lol. even when you burst into tears and promise that you love him, you're just not in love with him, he takes you in his arms and sways you kinda side to side to comfort you

because even though he's hurting too he knows this is just as hard for you. he knows you and he knows that you would never do a single thing to hurt him intentionally. it's sucky for both of you.

he makes a promise to you then & there that you can work it out. steve has never been one to beg but he almost does in that moment.

he hears you out. he listens to you talk about how you were just teenagers when you got together, and now you've both grown up and you're just not the same person you used to be. sometimes people grow together and sometimes they don't.

steve doesn't understand it, because he loves you more now than he was ever capable of as a dumb ass 17 year old but what can he do?? he can't make you stay with him

so he accepts it, however hard it is, because he just wants you to be happy, even if that means not being with you

but some part of him still holds out hope that you might come back one day

[bitchassbucky]

Ｃａｓｕａｌ Ｃｏｎｖｅｒｓａｔｉｏｎｓ

📎Word Count: 1k

📎Warning/s: MINORS DNI, NSFW! bucky eating your WAP while conversing about what to have for dinner lmfao that’s all you need to know

📎A/N: there’s a bit of banter in here bc normal seggs usually have those (as i was told)

📎Masterlist || Ask || AFTERDARK

“I’m hungry,” you whine, settling on the unmade bed with your legs and feet down on the plush carpeting that Bucky insisted to get.

He laughs, sitting down beside you and squeezing your knee, “then get up and let’s go out.”

The sun was about to set, the bustle of the 5th street coming to life as commuters and pedestrians mill about their life. City lights peeking through the buildings in the distance, contrasting the soft glow of the sky.

You let out an overdramatic groan, putting a pillow that smells like Bucky onto your face instead, “no... Too lazy.” Your speech was muffled by feathers and plush.

Adoration and a hint of mischief floods Bucky’s veins, “well, I for one can go for a snack right now.” Just as soon as those words leave his lips, you feel his metal hand against your inner thighs.

The vibranium and gold complementing your soft flesh as he digs his fingers gently, teasingly. Inching closer to the hem of your shorts.

You swipe away his hands, balancing the pillow on your face. “What kind of snack?”

“Something sweet.” Bucky continues, now sitting on the floor and facing you. Your legs are on the either side of his torso. He rests his chin on your knee then, his stubble tickling your skin just right—sending sparkles and shivers up your limbs.

A delightful hum slips past you, propping yourself up by your elbows and squinting at your boyfriend, “what are you doing?”

“About to eat a snack.”

“Ew.”

Bucky scrunches his face and bites your thigh, earring a regal yelp from you. “Hey!” Despite yourself, you put your thighs just so on his broad shoulders—a tinge of arousal coiling on the pit of your stomach.

“I’m hungry but,” you run your fingers through his hair, tugging gently, “please continue.”

Bucky’s baby blues are now tainted in lust; half-lidded and in love. So fucking in love.

He helps you out of those restrictions—“interesting underwear choice, my darling.”

You prop yourself up again, looking at him, your brow arched in a semi-incredulous position, “I like floral prints.” You defend yourself and your panties. How dare he make a comment when not even a month ago he bought you “All You Can Eat” booty shorts.

The 21st century and Bucky Barnes.

“You’re so fucking wet already,” He muses between your thighs, his hands pawing your thighs. The cocky asshole blows a breath on your slit, smirking when he feels goosebumps rising from your skin.

“Um, yes, that’s what usually happens when I’m horny.”

Bucky nips your skin again, you and your smart-ass mouth.

And then finally, he dives in—well, not quite. His tongue snaking into the crease of your thighs, his lips touching everything and everywhere but your clit. Your back arches as you feel his cold fingers caressing your lips, prying them open. Bucky groans at the scene unfolding before his eyes: pink, swollen, and dripping wet.

“Fuck me, baby, this is beautiful.”

The tip of his nose nudges your clit as his tongue laps at the wetness pooling by your hole, gonna fuck that pussy later. He notes mentally, refocusing on his mission of making you come undone with his mouth.

Slow stripes sent you keening towards his mouth, both your hands finding themselves on Bucky’s mane, “motherfuck—“ it dies on your lips as he closes his mouth around your clit and sucked.

Your hips unabashedly undulating as Bucky’s tongue swipes against your cunt, moving his head side to side, making the most obscene sound as he eats you out.

You wonder where he got that from.

He moans—oh, he moans like he’s the one enjoying himself. “Not to sound like Steve but I can do this all day,” Bucky mutters under his breath and against your heat. The timbre and low vibrations of his voice sending you into another spiral of pleasure.

Your mouth splits into a silent scream as Bucky pushes a finger into your pussy—fluttering around his thick digit. “Ow, fuck.”

He stops much to your dismay: overprotectiveness on display. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine—my lips are chapped though.” You observe, bringing up a finger to your lips and picking the skin. “Remind me to get lip balm next time.”

Placing a soft kiss on your thigh, he smiles sweetly, “yes, ma’am.” Continuing on his slow strokes, curling his finger just right into the spot that makes your toes curl.

Bucky feels your walls clench and flutter around his finger, and he adds another one for good measure. His tongue circling your clit lazily.

“Hey, we should go get—god, fuck—pasta later.”

So you’re still hungry, “maybe some—right there!—ice cream too?”

If he, doing his best work, can’t even pry you out of cravings, then maybe nothing will. Except for when you get what you wanted to eat in the first place.

“Can you let me finish and then we can get whatever the hell you want.” He smirks against your mound, placing a kiss.

“Sounds good—fuck, so good.”

Bucky picks up his pace; he’s a man on a mission. His metal fingers pumping in and out your cunt as his mouth once again closing around your bud—a move that makes you come every single time.

“I’m gonna come!” You call out, your eyes are screwed shut and your thighs are closing around his head. Bucky doesn’t mind that the balls of your feet are digging into his back.

He pulls out and grabs your hips, lifting you up closer to him. Bucky takes advantage of his strength and grinds your pussy on his mouth, drinking up every bit of your essence.

Your body is on fire—your leg muscles are quivering from the orgasm that Bucky just gave you. On both of your foreheads, there sits a sheen of sweat, glistening under the glow of string lights.

“Are you still hungry?” Bucky asks, passing you an opened packet of wet wipes.

You nod, pulling up your underwear, “actually, yeah. That made me more hungry.” Huffing as you get up from the bed and tossing the trash into a bin.

As if to prove a point, your stomach growled and you point at it, “see? Hungry!”

Bucky, zero; food, one.

[scoonsalicious]

Mother pookie🩷🩷🩷 ur kitties has risen. My initial plan was to comment on chp 3.3 but I feel like it’s gonna be long😂

To start off, first, even if it’s only one part, it’s amazing! A lot of interesting point for future theories, interpretations and ofc we got to see more on Buckybaby and deLulu so called ‘friend’ship. I gotta say whatever it is that Lenovo did to befriend him is magic because he puts up with her shit 😂 because from the looks of it, Leah did it all the time (when she’s being rude). Just like Bucky said, ‘why do you gotta think everyone is flirting me?’

I actually didn’t get the flirting vibe there, Mya and Buckybaby were just being friendly but clearly deLulu as the name itself sees it differently because hey! Bucky you can’t be friendly with someone else, only me or i’ll throw a tantrum because you make me feel invincible while I was there for you all the time. Anyways poor Mya. Didn’t deserve that. Lenovo needs therapy

Going on next, surprisingly I’m not frustrated when Bucky didn’t tell her the ‘truth’ because first, I have ridonkulous faith on him and second, I think it’s normal bcs I would’ve done the same. It’s either bcs I’m lazy for confrontation, didn’t wanna talk about it or i just don’t know how to tell them properly without it making a scene or hurt their feelings so my best way is to just shut up and agree. Besides, Bucky still cares for deLulu as his ‘bestfriend’ AND also bcs deep down he knows how she will react. If it were me, I would be tongue tied too and just agree with whatever it is that would not spark a fire. Plus, Buckybaby and Major are not a thing yet, it will be a different story if they are.

Now, who the fuck Lenovo think she is calling Major bitch. You are the bitch. Too fucking delusional. TOUCH GRASS. Thank God Bucky called her out. But the ending to their talk? Oh boy, she’s going to change herself into a girly girly gurl. If Bucky told her that he loves worm, she would transform herself into one because and I quote ‘Whatever that makes you happy, Jamie’ — ugh. The things we do for love (in this case, obsession and delusion)

Man, I would love to know how deLulu befriended Bucky. Like for real. What and how?! She literally forced herself into his life but there’s gotta be something she did that made Bucky really really accept her as his ‘best’ friend. One thing for a fact, he had a soft spot for her because again and I cannot stress this enough, she’s his bestfriend, his best girl. In his POV, Lenovo is equivalent to Steve and Sam. That’s something we as readers don’t see eye to eye.

Okay, done with interpretation, going on to future theories. I see there. I see that little star in the masterlist. Major and Bucky are going down dirty lane again and Major, you better suck his soul until he realises how differently Lenovo looks at him. I’m curious though, it’s just that I don’t know how crazy deLulu would be😂 Can mother pookie rate? per 10, Cunthage broke the meter ofc but what about Lenovo?

I don’t think, Bucky would break his friendship with deLulu though, unless if she did do something like crazy crazy. However, Lenovo would, like ‘It’s me, your best-friend or that skank’ kinda thing. After that she’ll throw a tantrum and suddenly had an epiphany which is to make Bucky jealous that backfires because, Bucky is sooooo happy with Major and she starts getting even more cray-cray and plots for Major demise like burning her WarZone or framing that Bucky is cheating on her or the opposite. Since Lenovo is SHIELD, she must have access to the system and use it to gain info about Major. Maybe she’ll contact her ex-husband and shit. But, it will end with either deLulu getting fired from SHIELD, or y’know, somehow she did get therapy and become better?😂 Idk, we have to wait for Mother Pookie’s great mastermind.

Thinking makes me hungry and now I am hungry. So lastly as usual, I love you mother pookie🩷🩷🩷 Aggressive kitten smooches and some cutie Buckybaby gif to make your day!!!

Hi Pookie! <3

Lemme start out by saying that Mya was totally flirting with BuckyBaby, lol. I mean, who wouldn't? Have you seen him?

I mean... come on!

Granted, she wasn't being obvious, which is why BuckyBB had no clue, but deLulu could see it because she is SUPER tuned in to any attention he receives from the opposite sex. Bucky wasn't flirting with Mya, though-- just being a genuinely nice guy and possibly oblivious now that he met Major and can only think about her <3

And you're absolute right about why Bucky didn't tell Lenovo about dating Major. First off, he's nervous-- he literally just met her the night before, so it's brand-spanking new, and he is afraid to make a big thing of it in case it fails; he doesn't want to jinx it, because he really likes her. He knows he's probably moving fast, emotionally, like Steve said, so he's playing it close to the chest until he really has something to tell her. Second, from past experiences, he *knows* how Lenovo will react. They'll have a discussion about it in Chapter Six, but he basically doesn't want her to insert her opinion before he can fully form one of his own.

And yes, absolutely, if Bucky said "I would love you if you were a worm," Lenovo would become a worm. And gladly.

I do want to explore how she and Bucky became bestfriends. Truth of the matter is, I don't know yet! lol

And yes, please expect many chapters with (*) warnings, because these two (Bucky and Major) are rabid for one another, lol. A little spoiler: the next * scene involves one of Tony's sportscars ;) I have not yet written a scene where Major sucks Bucky's soul out through his dick, but I will!

Crazy-scale. Hmmm. It's hard to say, because I would rate Cunthage on as a 20 on a scale of 1-10, lol. Lily's not that bad, thank fuck. She's maybe starting at a 4 but will escalate to an 8 as she becomes more desperate? Like, Cunthage was Villain-Level Crazy; Lily's just like... Regular-Person-Level Crazy?

I can't speak yet to what she's going to do to manifest the crazy. I have many, many ideas and the basic plot outlined, but I haven't written her shenanigans yet! So, you'll have to wait and see!

As always, I love you, Pookie! I hope you're having a great day <3

[missmonsters2]

i’m so excited for your halloween drabbles omg. what about r asks vampire!nat to bite her bc she wants to stay w nat forever but nat doesn’t think she can do it bc she never wants to hurt r. anyways lots of angst

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: None. Kind of sads ):

Note: Modern AU set. Pumping out drabbles but why are they all 1k+ wtf

Count: ~1.2k

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"How could you ask me that?"

The devastation in Natasha's tone falls over the two of you like a heavy blanket, threatening to crush you.

"How could I not?" You asked with your voice trembling.

Natasha shook her head vehemently. "No," her voice was hoarse as she closed her eyes. "No, no, I can't."

"I'm not asking for it today or even any time soon," you swallowed. "But there's a time limit on us if you don't. You'll be alone if you don't."

You knew Natasha knew. It was in the way she looked at you, at your fragility as you breathed and bled.

But you had known she would be averse to it. After all, Natasha's change had been violent.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Youth was fleeting—especially more so now when Natasha was frozen in time.

You think Natasha regrets not appreciating the fact that she could grow old. She regrets not spending more time with the people she loved—still loves, even though they're gone.

Natasha still has you, of course. And for that, she'll always be thankful.

But you still see the loss that hollows her face every day, the loss that dims the light in her eyes.

You still remember finding Natasha.

You had come home for the summer break from college, happy that you only had one year left before your degree was finished. It was late when your flight got in, and Natasha hadn't been at the airport like the two of you planned. Your texts and calls went unanswered.

You hadn't been worried, though. Natasha often got held up at work unexpectedly and would be unable to text or call. So, you hailed a cab and showed up at her home. It had been eerily quiet, but perhaps Natasha was still at work.

When you opened the front door with your spare key, though, you knew something was instantly wrong. The smell of rust overwhelmed you, almost making you gag. The quiet darkness made your skin crawl.

Wrong. Something was terribly fucking wrong.

It was when you entered the kitchen that you dropped everything in your hands, your keys making a loud clatter.

Bodies.

Blood.

Steve.

Wanda.

Bucky.

Tony.

Pepper.

There was so much fucking blood and stillness.

Your hands were shaking, blood pumping in your ears, as your heart was pounding. You vaguely recalled your eyes continuously searching for Natasha's body, and you found it by the balcony sliding door.

Natasha was still breathing, and you cried as you knelt next to her to try to check her vitals as you called 911.

Everything had been a blur after. Natasha was in the hospital for a couple of days. She had woken up surprisingly quickly, and the cops were able to take her statement.

Natasha didn't know who had killed everyone and attacked her. She did have a late night at the office but came home for a quick shower before going to the airport to pick you up.

Everyone else had already been at her place to prepare your late-night welcome back party.

Everyone had already dead when she came in. She had been surprised that the neighbors hadn't heard anything. Just as she was calling 911, she had been attacked from behind and knocked out.

The police said Natasha had been lucky she hadn't bled out to death because she had been attacked in the neck, but the assailants had quickly left after for some reason.

While all of this happened, you quickly found a place to rent short-term. A month-to-month apartment because there was no way Natasha wanted to return to her home, even when the police were done with the crime scene.

It had been slow at first, but there had been changes happening to Natasha. She constantly complained about an ache and a burning for weeks until one day, you found her sitting at the open fridge, gorging herself with what looked like a dead squirrel and packaged raw meat.

"What's happening to me?" She cried with blood around her mouth.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

It had taken time to figure things out. I mean, your obvious first guess was a vampire because all it seemed that Natasha could consume was blood. The raw packaged meat in the fridge was doing nothing for her.

But it was almost disbelief that held the two of you back from believing it. After all, there was no one you could turn to.

Until a man named Nick Fury showed up. He had heard about the attack in Natasha's home. He was some kind of director for an organization for supernatural beings.

Things had been a little easier after. There were answers, and there were people.

The only thing that continued to remain difficult was your romantic relationship with Natasha. It was a constant push and pull, and Natasha said it was hard to control her urges when she was around you, and things got too...heated.

Natasha's control steadily grew better, and with that came an urge for revenge to find who had done this to her—to find who had killed the people they loved.

The search went on with some success. It was almost like a game of tag, a really long game. But as time went on, you were becoming aware of the fragility and finality of your life. And so was Natasha.

"You're asking for this?" Natasha hissed. "You know exactly how hard it is for me to live like this and you're asking me to turn you?"

"Yes," you clenched your jaw. "Not because I want it."

You shook your head as Natasha shook her head and started to walk away. You started after her, grabbing her hand.

"Because I don't want to be without you, Nat. I don't want you to be alone forever," you pleaded her to understand. The desperation building up in your throat and in your grip on her hand. "Unless you're telling me you're okay with going our separate ways eventually because I won't be able to keep up with you down the line. I don't want to kiss someone who's always going to look 25 when I'm pushing plus forty."

Natasha turned around, her face somber.

"Unless you're telling me that you're going to move on without me, that you're going to find someone new to love and love better than me, I can't leave you alone." The words sting more than you ever thought they could. The idea of Natasha loving someone else. You'd want her to move on and be happy—you do. But it would sting knowing that there could be someone out there for her that isn't you.

It's written all over your face, and Natasha sucked in an agonizing breath as she pulled you into her arms, holding you so tightly it was on the brink of pain.

Natasha swallowed. "How could you even think there'd be someone I could ever love more than you? That I could love again after you?" Natasha felt like something was threatening to spill over. It happened all the time with being a vampire. Everything was heightened.

Anger. Happiness. Sadness. Love.

Fear.

"But you can't ask me to do this. You can't ask me to bite you and expect that I might not kill you." Natasha sighed as she let you go. "Can we not talk about this now?"

You looked at Natasha's face, that careful struggle you could see for Natasha to keep everything from cracking and spilling over into a downwards spiral.

"Yeah," you nodded, pulling her in for another hug. "Another time."

[shesoveranalyzingagain]

i'm actually heartbroken and disappointed.

first off, using the gay character's feelings as a way to build up the hetero relationship? what the fuck. i feel as if i've lost all hope for byler because i am really disappointed. they didn't even have to be canon this season. a coming out scene or confirmation on will's sexuality would've been nice. and also, mike?? will's voice was clearly breaking and there were formed tears in his eyes and you didn't notice it?

he's either blind considering will was sitting right next to him and then he immediately turned away from you after saying all that and you didn't sense anything wrong? (funny bc mike s1 + s2 would have) or he's a dick who did notice it but didn't do anything about it. it was also those words that helped mike say his whole 'i love you' monologue to el, a direct response to will's feelings.

it feels weird because the ending makes it show that nothing has been resolved. steve still has feelings for nancy and can't move on, will can't be open about who he is, and jonathon and nancy are still lying to each other. that's part of the reason i have small hope for s5. and speaking of nancy i am quite glad she didn't get with steve. (jancy still has my heart)

and finally a jopper kiss, i have been waiting for that. i thought way more people were going to die but the only person's death i really cared for was eddie's.. that death shattered my soul tbh. and when i tell you i screamed when max's bones started breaking. i loved how they built up the sinclair's sibling bond way more this season and i also loved that scene with eddie and dustin in the field. "never change henderson."

as for more things i didn't quite like besides the obvious queerbait,

they didn't show anybody else's reactions to eddie's death which really upset me. mike was also his friend so i wanted to see his too. and no one even comforted dustin :(

we don't actually know if dr. owens died or not. (assuming it's important in s5)

wasn't there supposed to be a letter or smth?? ending in "love, __". (assuming it's mike) we never got a letter like that and no matter who it was addressed to, i'm upset it wasn't in there.

i really thought will was gonna get possessed. purely based on the fact of noah's photo with him in a harness. and although it wasn't the same harness sadie was wearing, what purpose was it used for?

what happened to the military guys? aren't they still looking for el?

they never used music again. and i know that no one else really got possessed the fact that the music thing was never brought up again really puts me off.

we never saw max's letters at all.

vickie just feels like a copy of robin. :/

they never explained what's gonna happen with the byers. like are they staying in cali or moving back to hawkins?

honestly, there were just a lot of unanswered questions. lumax and a hopper and el reunion are what kept me going. but i still enjoyed it somewhat. hoping s5 makes up for it.

that's mostly all, i'd love to hear what you guys think !! :)